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wow. >> no, no. >> jon: wow! >> no. >> jon: i needed that. i needed that. >> you're welcome. >> jon: thank you. >> you're welcome. >> jon: though that was a little harder than in rehearsal and it was more on the eye than i thought it was going to be. >> i don't believe in half measures and i don't know how to fake slap anyway. >> jon: that's going to leave a mark. just because this guy runs a therapy practice that perpetrates a terrible so shiite al crime on gay people itç doesn't mean i should give. in we talked about in this group, jon. comedy is a choice. you weren't born this way. >> jon: i know. i know that. >> you understand? >> jon: i do know that. >> you can resist it. you must resist it. >> jon: it's so hard jerry. >> instead of going for the cheap gay joke try watching the footage. make astute observations. he's a big man. he is dancing. what kind of dance is he doing? >> jon: it's called the the shag. that's a funny name. he has a funny name. >> jon: marcus bachmann y is that funny? >> bachmann? is that a classical music superher
wow. >> no, no. >> jon: wow! >> no. >> jon: i needed that. i needed that. >> you're welcome. >> jon: thank you. >> you're welcome. >> jon: though that was a little harder than in rehearsal and it was more on the eye than i thought it was going to be. >> i don't believe in half measures and i don't know how to fake slap anyway. >> jon: that's going to leave a mark. just because this guy runs a therapy practice that perpetrates a...
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eat fresh. >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight professor at new york university's stern school of business, his new book which he coauthored is called "guaranteed to fail fannie mae, freddie mac and the debacle of mortgage finance." please welcome to the program matthew richardson. sir -- [cheers and applause] thanks for being here. >> feels good to be here. >> jon: the book is called guaranteed to fail. it feels like they haven't gotten a tremendous amount of attention as far as our entire mortgage debacle and crashing of the echmm. [laughter] what is your feeling -- are they primarily responsible for this collapse? partially? >> yes. i think there should be tremendous outrage at the mortgage finance system. fannie and freddie were smack in the middle of this. you took the two firms with public government backing. they went from just a little bitty players in the early 1980's to at the time of the crisis they owned 50% of mortgage market, $5 trillion of mortgage debt at risk with little capital underneath it and
eat fresh. >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight professor at new york university's stern school of business, his new book which he coauthored is called "guaranteed to fail fannie mae, freddie mac and the debacle of mortgage finance." please welcome to the program matthew richardson. sir -- [cheers and applause] thanks for being here. >> feels good to be here. >> jon: the book is called guaranteed to fail. it feels like they haven't gotten a tremendous amount of...
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. >> jon: not at all. great to see you, man. >> thanks for having me on. >> come back and see us again some time when you're putting together anything excited we need to know about. >> no, pretty much just wanted to come on the show for the people that really hate me. some people just don't like anything about me. i'm still here. can i tell you something? >> jon: he's a very pleasant man. fun at parties. that is correct, as well. "born free" is in the stores right now. you can catch kid rock on tour. you can buy bad ass beer. you can only buy it in singles, though, unfortunately. >> only in michigan. >> jon: only in michigan and only in singles. good to see you. kid rock. [cheering and applause] what's up, smart? oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. >> jon: that
. >> jon: not at all. great to see you, man. >> thanks for having me on. >> come back and see us again some time when you're putting together anything excited we need to know about. >> no, pretty much just wanted to come on the show for the people that really hate me. some people just don't like anything about me. i'm still here. can i tell you something? >> jon: he's a very pleasant man. fun at parties. that is correct, as well. "born free" is in the...
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[cheering and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. tom hanks will be in the studio. here it, is your moment of zen. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter] and my guest alexandra pelosi made a documentary about immigrants becoming u.s. citizens. i'm going to watch it backwards and make them all leave the country. [laughter] the pope wrote his first tweet today. he is truly the vessel through which god wastes time. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert repor captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: thank you very much. very kind. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. [cheers and app
[cheering and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. tom hanks will be in the studio. here it, is your moment of zen. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter]...
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>> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. another guest will be here. [laughter] i don't... i can't think of the name. here it is, your moment of zen. >> she's actually very talented. if you go to the end of the hbo special, the lady gaga hbo special and you watch her sing a cappella "born this way," she captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: very nice. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you for is joining us. that is the pure uncut stuff you just gave me. i wish i could cook you people up in a spoon. folks, we are only 16 months away from the 2012 presidential election. i'm as excited as a kid on the 483rd night before christmas. [laughter] and what's got me jazzed is that the republican field is brimming with superstars. i don't know how i'll decide between the ten of them. it's like an all-you-can-eat you got
>> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. another guest will be here. [laughter] i don't... i can't think of the name. here it is, your moment of zen. >> she's actually very talented. if you go to the end of the hbo special, the lady gaga hbo special and you watch her sing a cappella "born this way," she captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing...
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[laughter] >> jon: l right. i just popped in here. i'm not exactly sure what the story is going on here, all the hubbub about the migraines and anything, but did i miss a larger previous issue or michele bachmann came out in favor of slavery? but, of course, my favorite, favorite one happened in the heat of a conversation. see if you can catch the statement of clarification that probably won't do fox news psychaiatrist and part-time lex luther impersonator keith ablow any good. >> i'm not sure if you see a little girl as her breasts being sexual that that doesn't reflect more on you. >> i assure you i'm not a pedophile at all. >> jon: at all. nailed it. we'll be right back. [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome back my guest tonight, he's a writer. his new book is called the president and the as assassin: mckinley empire at the dawn of the century." please welcome scott miller. thank you so much for being here. [applause] thank you for joining us. >> my pleasure. >> we're very excited. big mckinley fans out there tonight. [applause]
[laughter] >> jon: l right. i just popped in here. i'm not exactly sure what the story is going on here, all the hubbub about the migraines and anything, but did i miss a larger previous issue or michele bachmann came out in favor of slavery? but, of course, my favorite, favorite one happened in the heat of a conversation. see if you can catch the statement of clarification that probably won't do fox news psychaiatrist and part-time lex luther impersonator keith ablow any good. >>...
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>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's part of what's going on. and gulf stream to web sites with other like-minded people. they even get into subgroups of that web site and if you're not exactly on target, you're a bad guy. if you don't agree with me, you're a traitor. the last book i wrote "enough" was about bill cosby and cosby saying "we've got problems in the black community, out-of-wedlock births, high dropout rates, acceptance of the drug culture. we have to stop this." and cosby, all of a sudden he was labeled a bad guy, he's airing dirty laundry. look at what's
>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's...
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right there. >> jon: i tried that once. with him? >> with him. >> jon: jumped on. with another friend, vomited about 30 seconds. for me, that's like riding with the blue angels. that's like i'm never doing that again. you got to do it once. >> i have to say sincerely i was so impressed by him. i means that's a pretty bold move to go and perform at lincoln center singing, you know, sondheim in front of 3,000 people. and that's sort of out of his comfort zone and he was just really great at it. >> jon: i actually went and saw it live. it was tremendous. >> thank you. >> jon: and i thoroughly enjoyed all of you guys but i was stunned that you had-- i heard you had like two weekends to work on it. they put on a full production of company, like an 18 hour play -- >> it's not. >> jon: and you learned the singing and the dancing was extraordinary that you even had the time to put it together. >> once a year they like to do a semi staged concert version of a show as a gala. and this was frar from semi staged. i think they said that just to get us all to sign up. and then w
right there. >> jon: i tried that once. with him? >> with him. >> jon: jumped on. with another friend, vomited about 30 seconds. for me, that's like riding with the blue angels. that's like i'm never doing that again. you got to do it once. >> i have to say sincerely i was so impressed by him. i means that's a pretty bold move to go and perform at lincoln center singing, you know, sondheim in front of 3,000 people. and that's sort of out of his comfort zone and he was...
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: i'm sorry. >> this is isn't even mine. >> jon: hi no idea, law. i had no idea, dodd frank, that you have been through some of. >> you don't know what you're talking about. you haven't seen the things i've seen. >> jon: i know. >> ♪ i'm just a law ♪ but my ass [bleep] and my balls put through a circular saw ♪ ♪ and every one ♪ who swore up and down to support me ♪ ♪ now they walk ♪ late term abort me ♪ last night i got hit by a car ♪ ♪ it's gone too far ♪ for this law ♪ did you i mention my ass was at [bleep] ♪ so, what are we going to do with this? i don't know. the usual? [ blower whirring ] sometimes it pays to switch things up. my - what, my hair? no. car insurance. i switched to progressive and they gave me discounts for the time i spent with my old company. saved a bunch. that's a reason to switch. big savings -- it's a good look for you. [ blower whirring ] [blower stops] the safety was off. out there with a better way. now, that's progressive. >> jon: welcome back to the show. earlier tonight we saw how the dodd
(cheers and applause) >> jon: i'm sorry. >> this is isn't even mine. >> jon: hi no idea, law. i had no idea, dodd frank, that you have been through some of. >> you don't know what you're talking about. you haven't seen the things i've seen. >> jon: i know. >> ♪ i'm just a law ♪ but my ass [bleep] and my balls put through a circular saw ♪ ♪ and every one ♪ who swore up and down to support me ♪ ♪ now they walk ♪ late term abort me ♪ last night...
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comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise out of washington's been? it sounded like an a elephant seal trying to (bleep) a truck! (laughter) actually, that footage is from a few
comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary...
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is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans used to urge their hard line tea party freshman coalition to drop their ob
is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the...
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. >> jon: captain america! (cheers and applause) >> jon: let me get you caught up. while many americans were enjoying america's fast food sidewalks and justy dashboard steaks our country moved close ever to self-inflicted economic coulds la, something we have known has been companying for as long as we have been told, it's coming. >> treasury secretary tim geithner sut approximatinging a date on what says would be a national disaster, as early as parch 31st. >> we can give congress until the end of june. >> geithner says the nation will disolve on its dead july 8th. >> moved the drop dead date from july 8th to august 2 wnd if congress doesn't act by the second they will put our-- they will downgrade our credit, first time in history, and if that happens, are you going to see cat strafk damage across the american economy and across the global economy. >> jon: the only other catastrophe that's moved its date this often was spicerman turn off the darbling. (laughter) (laughter) 112th congress has been completely unable to muster a debt sealing agreement to avoid eye ho
. >> jon: captain america! (cheers and applause) >> jon: let me get you caught up. while many americans were enjoying america's fast food sidewalks and justy dashboard steaks our country moved close ever to self-inflicted economic coulds la, something we have known has been companying for as long as we have been told, it's coming. >> treasury secretary tim geithner sut approximatinging a date on what says would be a national disaster, as early as parch 31st. >> we can...
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but we can't turn our backs on the world, jon. i know you would like to. i don't want to fight a strawman here. >> jon: i'm very fond of the world. ( laughter ) i don't want people to get hurt-- >> and the world is very fond of you. >> jon: right now, the military and military families are bearing an overwhelming weight of these wars, and it's not fair what they're going through, and i just feel like we have to come up way whole new strategy, that's all. ( applause ) i'm always happy to have you on the show. >> i agree with the last statement to some degree. i do -- >> you qualify everything. >> if you go to the pentagon they'll say that, the army and marines are fighting the war and the rest of the country is watching. there's some truth to that. on the other hand it's hard to know how to help but there's a lot of truth that. >> jon: thanks so much for coming by. bill kristol, everybody. you could save a bundle with geico's multi-policy discount. geico, saving people money on more than just car insurance. ♪ geico, saving people money on more than just c
but we can't turn our backs on the world, jon. i know you would like to. i don't want to fight a strawman here. >> jon: i'm very fond of the world. ( laughter ) i don't want people to get hurt-- >> and the world is very fond of you. >> jon: right now, the military and military families are bearing an overwhelming weight of these wars, and it's not fair what they're going through, and i just feel like we have to come up way whole new strategy, that's all. ( applause ) i'm...
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. >> jon: we'll be here then. if they fight for a decade that should be all right. we're all going to die! [laughter] >> it's been three years we haven't done anything. you have to address it at some point. you would hope a private mortgage finance system well functioning. you have to have it well regulated and if you have that you have a much better functioning economy afterwards. >> jon: one word yes or no is that -- there any possibility in this universe that that gets done? >> 50/50. >> jon: "guaranteed to fail" it's really disturbing. get it. the new droid incredible 2. i could use a smartphone with social apps to stay up on what my friends are doing. and it's global, so i'll know what they're doing while they're doing it, even when i travel. i'll have to act surprised when they tell me stuff. i don't have a good surprised face. maybe i can look up videos of surprised people on my new phone for reference. yep, i really want that phone. upgrade to the new droid incredible 2 by htc2@ with global capabilities for only $149.99. now on america's largejç, most relia
. >> jon: we'll be here then. if they fight for a decade that should be all right. we're all going to die! [laughter] >> it's been three years we haven't done anything. you have to address it at some point. you would hope a private mortgage finance system well functioning. you have to have it well regulated and if you have that you have a much better functioning economy afterwards. >> jon: one word yes or no is that -- there any possibility in this universe that that gets...
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>> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! thank you for joining us. thank you, everybody. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: beautiful, thank you so much, everybody. you're too kind. (cheers and applause) >> stephe
>> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change...
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night i believe at 11:00. luis c.k.will be in the studio with us. unfortunately you people will not. here it is your moment of zen. >> found a place to cool off. >> surfing the seal river. check that out. have you ever seen anything like that? >> new york city plans to feed geese to the homeless. the city will actually send the birds captured around its airports to pennsylvania to a >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to t
( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night i believe at 11:00. luis c.k.will be in the studio with us. unfortunately you people will not. here it is your moment of zen. >> found a place to cool off. >> surfing the seal river. check that out. have you ever seen anything like that? >> new york city plans to feed geese to the homeless. the city will actually send the birds captured around its airports to pennsylvania to a >> stephen:...
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. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living through the fourth world war, that world history for the next 20, 30 years will is all going to be about the battle with islamist terrorism t doesn't seem to be quite like that any more. >> stephen: what is the battle? where is the fourth world war? >> i'm not sure. let's hope there isn't the fourth world war but what i do think, i have an account in this book of a very extraordinary meeting with george w bush in the early summer of 2001. don't look like that. >> stephen: hi an extraordinary meeting with him too once. but go ahead. >> i want to hear about that. >> stephen: yes. >> bu
. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living...
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> first lady michelle was seen ordering a cheesebugger, fries captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight will america default on its debt? and if so, will canada let us crash on their couch for a while? then, a fresh young face for the republican party. he's only 235 years old. [laughter] and my guest david mccullough has a new book about americans in paris. sounds like somebody wants to deduct his vacation. [laughter] a six-year-old beauty queen has retired. i'm not surprised -- she was starting to get crow's dimples. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. woo! woo! boom boom boom boom! [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report. good to have you with us. that kind of chanting makes me want to say, you are the man! but -- [laught
[cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> first lady michelle was seen ordering a cheesebugger, fries captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight will america default on its debt? and if so, will canada let us crash on their couch for a while? then, a fresh young face for the republican party. he's only 235 years old. [laughter] and my guest...